Meet the forces of hate with the power of love

Hate begets hate; violence begets violence; toughness begets a greater toughness. We must meet the forces of hate with the power of love.

– Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

LOVE to the Colorado Springs community. For Club Q, Daniel, Derrick, Kelly, Ashley, Raymond, and so many others who were impacted Saturday night. xo

This week I’m home in Kansas with my family for the holiday. Saturday I was at my nephew’s 6th grade basketball game watching from the stands with my brother. My brother had just been sharing with me earlier that day about the increase of violent and/or abusive behavior by parents of these youth athletes toward the referees. Where have I been? I didn’t realize it had gotten so bad. We spoke more broadly about how this is a serious widespread problem across our country. And locally, It’s become such a huge concern that the Kansas State High Schools Activities Association issued an open letter to parents, students, and fans urging them to stop abuse toward referees and sports officials as it’s causing a shortage in officials to hire for competition.

My nephew’s team won the game, but it was a close fought battle. There was a very vocal fan for the other team sitting next to us (causing my brother & I to trade glances a few times recalling our earlier discussion). At the end of each game, as they’ve been instructed to do whether they win or lose, after the mandatory “good game” ritual between teams, my nephew’s team goes to thank and fist bump the officials. The vocal fan next to us made one last derogatory comment. My brother, unable to remain silent any longer, turned to the older gentleman and calmly asked, “you don’t respect the refs?” To which the old man spewed expletives at my brother while quickly standing up to get in his face. (Thankfully, everything ended cordially…)

I was so proud of my brother for remaining calm and maintaining his integrity. He apologized to me later (unnecessarily) for saying something to the man, but then he said, “if guys like me don’t speak up and say something, we’re not even going to have any refs. And without refs, there are no youth sports, and the kids lose out.”

How often do we sit in silence when we see or hear others being disrespectful or spreading hate or violence? What kind of example is that we are setting for the little minds around us who are always watching? Sitting in annoyed or frustrated silence is not much better than the behavior of those who are committing the offense. Regrettably, I have been guilty of keeping silent too many times.

Just a few hours after the youth basketball game, a horrific hate crime was committed in my city of residence in Colorado. Loved ones in South America and Europe reached out Sunday morning to check on my safety as they read about the LGBTQ+ nightclub massacre in their morning news headlines. One message just said, “what is with all the hate in America?” My heart sank. I’m incredibly disappointed and disheartened.

These two examples I realize are opposite extremes, but they both are a result of human failure to control and regulate emotions. Both are a result of an overabundance of privilege and self-importance. Both are an example of hearts holding on to a lot of anger.

I can’t help but ask myself how we can do and be better. How can we all learn from these tragedies that occur far too often in our schools, grocery stores, night clubs, places of worship? How can each of us: be more aware of our own emotions? Recognize when those around us are in an unhealthy space and do what we can to support them? Have the courage to reach out for help when we ourselves feel out of control? Spread love instead of hate with our words and behaviors? Free our hearts, minds, and lives from anger and hate by educating ourselves and expanding our world views? Make the well being of our fellow humans as high a priority as our own? Soften our hardened hearts to the power of love or the power of respect or the power of understanding?

Love over hate. Love over indifference. Love over ignorance.
Love over ego. Love over fear. Love over barriers. Love over borders.
Love over
And over
And over
Again.