The big transition

Transition is tough sometimes. Transitioning out of an identity you’ve held, to then recreate a new identity- that is brutal. It’s not something we should have to face alone; but when going through it, it feels impossible to put into words to even ask for help from someone else.

There’s no class in school or field of study we can pursue just to explore the root of our “who”, our sense of Self. Sure, it might come up from time to time in a Psych class, or in a journaling exercise in English class, but for the most part, we’re not taught the skills we need to navigate these types of transitions in a healthy way. Whether it’s retirement after a long career, unexpected early retirement, return from deployment or discharge, divorce, marriage, parenthood, career change… the process of separating that piece of our identity from ourselves can feel like peeling off our skin. Or maybe a less graphic analogy- like taking off your favorite, most comfortable, jacket that you’ve worn daily and loved for as long as you can remember to put on a new one that is not yet broken in and doesn’t quite fit right.

It can be uncomfortable. It can be isolating. It can be devastating.

But, change is indeed inevitable.

A constant reminder scribbled on a bright pink sticky note on my bathroom mirror reads,

“For a seed to achieve its greatest expression, it must come completely undone. The shell cracks, its insides come out and everything changes. To someone who doesn’t understand growth, it would look like complete destruction.” 

– Cynthia Occelli

Sometimes a complete transformation is necessary; and it can look and feel like complete destruction. What I love most about these words is the subtle encouragement to strive for achieving our greatest expression. Isn’t that what life should be about? After all, who wants to get to the end of their life having only ever lived as a caterpillar?